For Father’s Day 2024, Fox News Digital gathered an array of “dad jokes” shared by our own father figures and others on social media.
“Dad jokes are more than funny jokes that happen to be told by men with kids. They walk a razor-thin line between wit and dumb humor, equal parts cheesy and hilarious,” Fatherly.com, a New York-based lifestyle blog for parents, said on its website.
“A great dad joke is almost always a variation on the pun — a punchline that’s both super ridiculous and cerebrally obscure.”
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Read on for a collection of 40 witty, playful jokes from dads and father figures, collected here with input from many people and online forums.
And feel free to post your own favorite “dad jokes” in the comments section below!
“Why are pigs bad drivers? They hog the road.” (Halfpoint)
1. “How did the pasta get locked out of his house?”
-Gnocchi.
2. “How can you tell if a pig is hot?”
-It’s bacon.
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3. “What did the beach say when the tide came in?”
-Long time, no sea.
4. “Why should you not use an unsharpened pencil?”
-It’s pointless.
5. “Why did the old man fall down the well?”
-He couldn’t see that well.
“Why are fish so smart? They live in schools!” (iStock)
6. “Why do turkeys play percussion?”
-They have drumsticks.
7. “What do you call a happy cowboy?”
-A Jolly Rancher.
8. “What do you give the dentist of the year?”
-A little plaque!
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9. “Why did the football coach go to the bank?”
-To get his quarter back!
10. “What’s the best thing about Switzerland?”
-I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
11. “Where do boats go when they’re sick?”
-To the dock.
12. “Did you hear the one about the roof?”
-Never mind, it’s over your head.
“Why couldn’t the pony sing? It was a little horse.” (iStock)
13. “What do you call a funny mountain?”
-Hill-arious.
14. “I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… until I turned myself around.”
15. “I don’t trust stairs… they’re always up to something.“
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16. “Want to hear a joke about construction?”
-I’m still working on it!
17. “Want to hear a joke about paper?”
-Never mind. It’s tear-able.
18. “What did Sparticus say when the lion ate his wife?”
-Nothing. He was glad-iator.
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19. “Where does 007 invest his money?”
-In the bond market.
20. “What do you call a deer with no eyes?”
-No idea (no eye-deer).
“You can’t trust atoms. They make up everything!” (iStock)
21. “Why couldn’t the produce manager make it to work?”
-He could drive, but he didn’t avo-cado.
22. “Where do you learn to make ice cream?”
-Sundae school.
23. “How did the pirate get such a good price on his ship?”
-It was on sail.
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24. “What do you call an angry golfer?”
-Tee’d off!
25. “What did the duck say after he went shopping?”
-Put it on my bill.
26. “Did you hear about the golfer who didn’t have metal clubs in his bag?”
-He was iron deficient.
27. “Why did the bank teller push the customer?”
-He wanted to check his balance.
28. “Why did the picture go to jail?”
-He was framed.
What’s your best or favorite “dad joke” of all time? Drop it in the comments section below this article! (Halfpoint/YakobchukOlena)
29. “How do birds learn to fly?”
-They wing it.
30. “How do you throw a party in outer space?”
-You planet!
31. “What do you call a fake noodle?”
-An impasta.
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32. “What did the Dalmatian say after dinner?”
-That hit the spot.
33. “Why did the rabbit go to the salon?”
-It was having a bad hare day.
34. “Where do crayons go on vacation?”
-Color-ado.
35. “How do you make a robot angry?”
-Keep pushing his buttons.
36. Why did the cow go to Hollywood?
-To be in the movies.
37-40. Check out the captions in this article for four more fun ones!
Share your own jokes in the comments section below.
