Two years ago, a sex scandal shook the foundation of a thriving online subculture of Mormon moms.
“MomTok,” an online community shaped by a group of Mormon influencers in Utah, rose to prominence on TikTok for its lifestyle and parenting content. Then, one of its main creators, Taylor Frankie Paul, announced that she and her husband were getting a divorce — revealing in the process that they’d had an open relationship and she had violated the terms.
Paul referred to the arrangement as “soft swinging” and said that several couples in her friend group were doing the same. The revelation gave rise to widespread speculation about which other MomTok influencers were involved.
A new Hulu docuseries follows eight of the influencers as they navigate the resulting chaos and tumult.
“The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” which was released on Friday, brings viewers into the fallout as Paul and her fellow MomTokers struggle to save friendships and repair reputations.
In interviews with NBC News, the eight women featured in the series said the scandal ultimately brought them closer, despite the initial drama that led some to shun Paul.
“I think where MomTok stands now is a group of women who, for better or worse, decided to stand by Taylor. And yeah, we went through hard times, but now we’re all stronger because of it. And I think that’s a real testament to female friendship,” said Jessi Ngatikaura, 32, a mother of three who owns a hair salon and posts vlogs of her personal life as well as videos of hair transformations on TikTok.
When Paul, now 30, revealed her swinging arrangement in 2022, she explained to millions of followers that she and her then-husband Tate Paul had agreed that they could be intimate with the other members of their swinger group as long as both were present and neither went “all the way.”
“As long as we were both there and we saw it and we knew it, it was OK,” Paul said during the live stream. “And the second it goes behind without each other, then that’s [when] you stepped out of the agreement. And I did that.”
In other words, she admitted to cheating.
Two months later, Paul, who shares two children with her ex-husband, introduced her new boyfriend, Dakota Mortensen, as “the guy [she] cheated with.” The couple, now married, had a child together earlier this year.
Paul never offered names of any other swingers, but suddenly, her influencer friends and the wider community of Mormon MomTokers were fielding assumptions that they, too, were involved, even though most were not.
It didn’t help Paul’s reputation when she was arrested last year during an altercation with Mortensen. She was charged with assault and domestic violence in the presence of a child and later pleaded guilty to aggravated assault.
“At that time, I was going 90 miles per hour. I wasn’t even thinking straight,” Paul told NBC News. “I was in a depression as well, so I don’t even know if I was handling it. I think I was just surviving at the time, and maybe made choices that I’m not proud of today.”
Her behavior caused a rift in the MomTok community. Throughout that period, Paul, who now has 4.1 million TikTok followers, continued to post about her struggles with divorce, coparenting and mental health.
Paul said she is now in a better place.
Ngatikaura said being an influencer can invite negative judgment from within the Mormon community — so she’s wary of reactions to the show once it comes out. But she and the other stars hope the series will also help viewers better relate to them.
“We’re excited to showcase that the show isn’t just about the salacious title, it’s about our real lives and our friendships and our struggles,” Ngatikaura said. “I know that women are going to relate to it, and that’s all we want.”
Mikayla Matthews, a mother of three with 2.4 million TikTok followers, said the scandal caused her and other MomTokers to reexamine whether participating in the community was worth it despite the increased scrutiny.
But Matthews, 24, said she realized that creating online content has enabled her to explore life as a young person beyond being a stay-at-home mom, especially after having lost friends when she got pregnant at 16.
“You kind of get to put yourself back in your teenage days and just let loose and have fun and find those interests and hobbies again,” Matthews said. “I do owe that to all my friends that I’ve met through MomTok.”
Whitney Leavitt, a MomToker who posts dance and lifestyle content to her 2 million followers, expressed similar sentiments. Being a creator has helped her to feel that her identity is no longer confined to “cleaning up poop and spit up all day for the rest of my life,” she said.
Still, the show offers glimpses into her personal drama, as well. Viewers see Leavitt, now 31 and pregnant with her third child, navigate the aftermath of catching her husband on Tinder. She also opens up about a controversial dance video she made while at the hospital with her infant, who had been admitted for a respiratory illness.
Layla Taylor, the youngest of the cast at 23, said she hopes that the docuseries will enable the MomTokers to show a broader audience that Mormon culture can be accepting of different lifestyles, even though it can also bring harsh judgment.
“So many people are in so many different phases of life, and maybe they’re participating in things that you don’t personally agree with and don’t resonate with,” said Taylor, a mother of two who divorced her husband prior to the show’s filming. “But we’re all on our own separate journeys within our faith, with our relationship with God.”
